and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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