It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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