I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
