i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
