We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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