At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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