Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
