But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
