I can tuck mytits in my pants
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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