Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
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The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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