it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
