I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.