You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
