Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
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why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it