omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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