YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
