I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's shark week go big or go home
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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