what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
