remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
