He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize