Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
