You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
