ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
