Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have post one night stand depression
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
