one two three fourrrrnication!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
