K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.