I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize