I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
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Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him