I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.