How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress