Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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