I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
