help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
