just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
