opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
