I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
