We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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