Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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