just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize