I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
