is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
