Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
