Porn is love you can see.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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