Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
