I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
