If i come over, it means nothing
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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