I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
