I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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I need you to use more vowels.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.