Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again

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  (301): Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again http://tfl.nu/89sh
  Replies (29) Good night (1182) Bad night (2986)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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  (843): His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked. http://tfl.nu/h1xn
  Replies (17) Good night (4059) Bad night (786)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her

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  (219): i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her http://tfl.nu/s6o1
  Replies (42) Good night (8084) Bad night (1425)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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  (360): Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month http://tfl.nu/vjm5
  Replies (16) Good night (2218) Bad night (3951)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart

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  (815): Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart http://tfl.nu/4qqp
  Replies (19) Good night (8027) Bad night (1877)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question

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  (978): Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question http://tfl.nu/aezp
  Replies (6) Good night (3273) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out

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  (256): its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out http://tfl.nu/ng5c
  Replies (11) Good night (1429) Bad night (2811)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house

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  (973): Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house http://tfl.nu/x9ej
  Replies (11) Good night (3545) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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  (304): I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay http://tfl.nu/d341
  Replies (18) Good night (720) Bad night (1761)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine

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  (440): when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine http://tfl.nu/xy6d
  Replies (7) Good night (1686) Bad night (759)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".

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  (603): From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon". http://tfl.nu/l6av
  Replies (7) Good night (1723) Bad night (1013)
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  (559): View more from California

  I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey

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  (559): I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey http://tfl.nu/dy5j
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.

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  (336): I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/1f7k
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...

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  (208): Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return... http://tfl.nu/xy3e
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday

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  (434): All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday http://tfl.nu/0n0q
  Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (341)

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