He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize