You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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