News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
