Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!

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(303): View more from Colorado

You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong

(980): View more from North Carolina

And?

(704): View more from North Carolina

He melted the stem

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(404): View more from Georgia

Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

How does it feel to date your dad?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...

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