Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize