I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
