They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
