very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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