And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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