Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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