She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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