She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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