new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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