god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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