Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
