haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How naked do you want me to be?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
