pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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