is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
