I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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