She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
