hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
