Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
