p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I've blown a few things in my day
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
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Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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