Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize