i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
